Cannon elected its officers today, and it was a long and painful process. But you gotta do what you gotta do, and I’m glad that we were able to hear what everyone had to say. Congratulations to Cannon’s new officers:

President: Connor Clegg ’14
Vice President: Jordyn Seni ’14
Secretary: Maddie Cousens ’14
Treasurer: Gabie Figueroa ’14
Social Chair #1: Malik Jackson ’14
Social Chair #2 (21+): Kevin Mill ’13
Bicker Chair: Erin Willians ’14
House Manager: Joe Goss ’14
Intramurals Chair: Mike Willis ’14
Community Service Chair: Kathleen Ryan ’14

I ran for the house manager position but (obviously) didn’t win. Despite that, I’m glad that Joe got the position instead because I know that he’ll do an excellent job. I’m still building Cannon’s website, and it will be fun working with the officers to make it as awesome as possible. (Don’t worry, Malik: I’ll do my best to make the online food ordering idea a reality.)

Throughout the election process, I saw many members of the bicker committee not get the positions they ran for. Many of them were really bummed out, and I totally feel for them. I have the following message for them:  Just because you didn’t get the officer position does not mean that all the work that you’ve done for Cannon has gone unappreciated. It’s really unfortunate that there are such a small number of positions, but I really hope that you continue to put in your best work and love Cannon as much as you have. Cannon’s greatest strength is the community behind it, and you’ve been a huge part of that. Keep your head up and know that you still play a role in shaping the club.

One thing that really disappointed me was the turnout of members who showed up to vote. I’m going to guess that there were only about 70 people, and that’s unacceptable when our membership count is 138. In fact, that’s just embarrassing. We have got to step up our game and make sure the entire club is involved in important events such as electing the club’s officers.

With that, I’d like to congratulate the officers and wish them good luck in being responsible for putting the club on their back. Let’s make Cannon the best it can be.

In case you’re interested, this was my 1-minute speech:

Hey guys, I’m DK. For those of you who keep up with my blog or the
Prince, you might know me as the biggest tool on campus. Don’t worry,
I’m not; but I’m proud to have earned that title due to my passion for
Cannon.

I’m going to be honest here. I don’t have the experience that some of
these other guys have because I wasn’t on the bicker
committee. However, I’m fully confident in my ability to take care of
our home so that you’ll never end up in the situation where you take a
huge dump and realize that there’s no toilet paper. Not under my
watch.

On top of that, I’m already in charge of building our website, and
being your house manager will give me the access necessary to build
sweet features such as being able to order food online so that by the
time you get to Cannon it will be ready for you to pick up, fresh from
the grill.

I want to make our club a second home for all of us, where we can
share our best times at Princeton together. Thanks for your support!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oh, it’s just your hallmate Bobby, who wants to introduce himself and say hi as we start out the school year.

Really?

Here at Princeton, our dorm rooms are equipped with heavy doors that close and lock on their own. These doors are definitely convenient if you’re leaving the room in a rush, but it also means you can’t just leave your door open as an invitation to your hallmates to drop by and chat.

This.

Absolutely.

Sucks.

It means there’s no chance for you to have any of the random, fun interactions with hallmates that’s become one of the hallmarks (hallmarks. Haha, get it…? Okay, I’ll stop.) of the college experience. Unless you consciously put in the effort to go around knocking on doors introducing yourself, there’s pretty much no opportunity for you to meet the people you’ll be sharing the hall with for an entire year. With our current setup, the only time that I ever see Bobby is when I’m brushing my teeth and he leaves the stall after taking a massive dump.

This leads to the unfortunate circumstance of missing out on meeting new people and making friends around your dorm room. It would be nice to be able to just walk right outside my room and see what my hallmates are up to without having to feel like I’m intruding on them. After all, if they didn’t want to be disturbed, they can simply close their door. But when everyone’s doors are closed all the time, there’s no way to know who’s willing to share some laughs.

The simple act of changing the doors so that students can leave them open would go a long way towards improving the lives of many students who otherwise don’t get much social interaction. Instead, it seems that the University wants to discourage social behavior in our residential halls with its current policies. How, you ask? Well, the following scenario takes place all the time:

Knock knock.

Who’s there? Is it Bobby?

NOPE, IT’S THE FIRE SAFETY INSPECTOR AND HERE’S A $50 FINE FOR PROPPING YOUR DOOR OPEN WITH A TRASH CAN. LOL.

It’s about time that Princeton open its door to change.

In case you haven’t heard, this blog entry is making its rounds around campus, even being mentioned in a tweet by Professor Peter Singer.

Here’s my response to Jessie’s post, assuming that everything that she’s saying is true:

On move-in day as a freshman, I am at the check-in table. The student working the table rudely glares at me as she tosses me my welcome packet.  Tosses it!  I ask her for directions to one of the dorms, and she shrugs without saying a word, then turns her back to me and starts talking to some guy who was lingering behind her. It is fairly clear that she is telling me to get lost and stop wasting her time. I get it, she is practicing for Bicker, but aren’t I a new freshman?  How does this benefit Princeton as an institution or her as a person to alienate every other new freshman on the first day?  Yes, I stood back and watched – she did it to three others while I was standing there.

Wow, she sounds like a bitch.

Another time, I am at the Friend Center (go ahead and re-read the name, it is not a misprint) looking for help on a programming assignment. The TA makes snide remarks while looking at my code. She then comments, “Well, let’s see…You start by adding a header, but I guess Physics is obviously not your thing, now is it?” I have no programming experience and do not want to major in physics, so I mean, obviously she is correct.  But how is the climate at the “Friend” Center improved by that kind of attitude.  And no, I did not do anything to instigate that behavior.  I don’t go around looking for trouble.  I learned that in Vegas.  Out there, speak up to the wrong person at the wrong time and you can end up with more than your feelings hurt.

Wow, she sounds like a bitch.

How about this one: on my first day of cheerleading practice, I introduce myself to a fellow teammate.  “So, which residential college are you in?” I ask.  How bold of me. She states the name – nothing else – in a snarky manner, then immediately turns away and starts fumbling with her outfit. Isn’t cheerleading supposed to be the fun, upbeat rabble-rousers that pump up school spirit and make people smile?  Why is she even on the team?  My follow up question, “How are you enjoying being on the team?” is her signal to walk away in silence.

Wow, she sounds like a bitch.

I could go on, pulling examples from places like my Asian student organization, where a fellow Asian makes a loud comment to a bunch of us Asians that she “hates Asians”.

Wait, what the hell — why would someone who hates Asians be in an Asian student organization…? And why in the world would you say that to a bunch of Asians?

She sounds like a bitch. (And a bit crazy.)

Here is a wake-up call Princeton:

Wowowowowow. Hold your horses there, Jessie. So you’ve managed to run into all four of Princeton’s finest bitches, but that certainly doesn’t mean that the rest of us are like that. You seem to have a gift for attracting the wrong type of girls, but I assure you that most people here are friendly and most importantly, not bitches.

I’d like to introduce you to some people I know in hopes that you’ll start to restore your faith in the Princeton community:

If you ever stop by the Friend Center to get help from a lab TA, look for Emily Lancaster. She’s super nice and friendly. (read: not a bitch)

If you’re still on the cheerleading team, I hope you’ve already met Desi Howry. She’s super nice and friendly. (read: not a bitch)

If you ever see a guy on a red bike and think “he’s got to be the biggest tool on campus”, it’s probably me. Say hi! I promise that I won’t be a bitch.

 

Jessie, it seems to me that you simply suffer from being a bitch magnet. Luckily, there is a cure: Avoid bitches and meet different people. It’s pretty simple. Good luck!

Yesterday, the Prince published on its front page an article about how Cannon Club reopened with 138 new awesome members. Surprisingly, Luc (the author of said article) dedicated a portion of the article to my blog post about bickering Cannon.

When I checked out the comments, all I saw were a bunch of Cannon haters complaining about how we broke Princeton tradition in having early bicker. Cool story, bros. But on page two, it got more exciting: I GOT CALLED OUT BY NAME.

Dear DK ’14,

Your comment about Cannon having a “startup” feel is really douchey. We are not in the Silicon Valley. Go back to Facebook.

And what does “the opportunity to interact with athletes” even mean?

Well, shit. I totally forgot that The Startup Feel (TM) only exists in the Valley. My bad for trying to describe one thing in terms of another because that’s like, totally against the rules. As for the “opportunity to interact with athletes” part, I don’t blame you for being confused because that phrasing just makes me sound like I’m deprived of all interaction with Princeton’s athletes and would die to hang out with them. (Luc, you should’ve read my blog post a little more carefully.) But it’s chill. Let’s move on.

Luc, this is the best article you’ve written. You’ve portrayed well exactly how much of a tool DK ’14 (and other bickerees of Cannon) are. Good job!

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Tooling it up!

I TOTALLY AGREE! DK ’14 SHOULD MAKE A FACEBOOK APP ABOUT HOW TO FILTER LARGE CROWDS TO IDENTIFY THE “QUALITY PEOPLE.” NOBODY KNOWS QUALITY LIKE A FACEBOOK/COMPUTER SCIENCE TECHIE!

Not gonna lie, that would be one sweet app. Hell, I’d build it if I knew how. I’m not sure what this commenter has against CS majors, but it’s not immediately obvious to me why “techies” would have a hard time recognizing quality. Maybe I should stop assuming that people put as much effort into writing these comments as I do trying to understand them.

I’m pretty used to getting Internet Hate (thanks, racist commenters on YouTube), but this time it’s different because I know these comments are coming from other Princeton students. To be honest, it doesn’t matter all that much that someone out there thinks I’m the biggest tool on campus, but it’s interesting to know that these commenters are people I cross paths with on a daily basis. But despite all the hate I’m getting, I’m enjoying the attention. (Note: I crave attention. It’s my second favorite thing after Emacs Michelle.)

For the authors of the comments above, I sincerely hope that I’ll get to know you in person so that I can change your mind (or confirm your suspicions) about how big of a tool I am.

As for the Cannon haters, this is all I have to say:

“Yup, I’m definitely bickering Tower.”

That was me three weeks ago. If you couldn’t tell from the title, I’ve
since changed my mind.

The Membership

I feel pretty comfortable in Tower. I’ve gotten to meet quite a few
people from the club, and most of my a cappella group, the Princeton
Roaring 20 is in it. Fact: I haven’t met a single Tower member who I
haven’t taken a liking to. Tower’s website advertises that the club is all
about its members, and they’re right; the club is made up of a lot of
fantastic individuals. I’ve enjoyed every one of my nights there.
So why Cannon?

Everyone knows that athletes make up 110% of Cannon’s bicker
committee. And despite claims otherwise, it’s likely the club itself
will comprise mostly of athletes. I don’t have anything against
athletes; I live with a basketball player and a wrestler, and they’re
both great guys. The only reason I bring up this aspect of Cannon is
that as a non-athlete, I’ve found that I don’t have a ton in common
with the typical athlete, and this usually leads to difficulties in
making conversation. An example: I walked into my room and saw my
roommate chilling on our futon, cheering for his favorite Texas
baseball team. My exact words: “How are the Cowboys doing?”

And this is precisely why I’m bickering Cannon: it’s completely
outside of my comfort zone. I’d like to expand my horizons in terms of
the kind of people I’m comfortable around — even by forcing myself
into some possibly uncomfortable situations.

The Startup Feel

More important than stepping outside of my social circles, I’m
attracted to Cannon for the same reason that many others are turned
off by it: Cannon is new. With the oversight of some alumni (bless
their hearts and their wallets), the class of 2014 will define every
aspect of the club.

Coming from the tech world, I see this like joining a startup. If I
end up joining Tower, I know that I’ll enjoy my time there just like
the countless alumni who came before me did. In contrast, no one knows
whether Cannon will be the best club on the Street or a complete
joke. There’s a huge element of risk in joining it, but that risk
comes with its own reward: you have a huge say in shaping the future
of the club. Sure, you have some amount of influence at other clubs,
but it’s really difficult to break out of the “let’s just do things
the way we’ve been doing it” mentality. Since this is the first year
of Cannon’s reopening, everyone is on the same level and no one really
knows what the hell they’re doing. But that’s okay; that’s just part
of the process.

It all begins tomorrow. I’m pumped.